The Pale Blue Dodderer

Today, fellows, let's zoom out a little bit. Rather, let's zoom out a lot. Let's place the camera somewhere out there, somewhere around, let's say, Pluto. Or a little beyond that. Or something. I wasn't taking notes. (Yada yada yada.) Let's place the camera here (not where the arrow is pointing, rather where, in our imaginations, the camera must be):

"OMG"

See that pale dot in the mauve vertical stripe? (Hint: there's an arrow pointing at it.) That's us! That's Earth! Whoa! (Am I right, or am I right? I'm right.) I took this photograph on my recent vacation to Heaven. I thought about using a footnote to reveal that the preceding sentence is a lie, but then I thought better of it. It's quickly becoming passé, the footjoke, and it's impractical and messy in the blog format. (We keep it tidy here.) So here's the truth, mid text: Carl Sagan, hero, encouraged NASA to take this photograph many moons ago, back when humans were doing silly things like shooting robots out of Earth with slide rules. Silly, grand, beautiful things.

Last Friday, Ira Flatow reran an excerpt from a classic Science Friday featuring the late great Carl Sagan (Not to be confused with Carl Kasell (Not to be confused with a castle)). We'll get to the meat and potatoes of informations shortly, (Remember, our locus is still somewhere around Pluto, probably), but I would feel remiss if I did not halt briefly to point out that the Carl Sagan rebroadcast was preceded by a fun little radio piece that I will summarize in this way: "Photograph your own atom! It just takes a few spare parts and a few spare million dollars! YOUR OWN ATOM!"

Unrelated Thing That is Happening Right Now (A One Act Play):

Two ladies sit side-by-side at identical cubicles just outside my (our) office door. The lady on the right is checking Facebook. The lady on the left is out of my (our) sight-line. Both are in earshot. The lady on the right on Facebook has a butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck and a messy up-do.

Lady on the right:

Have you seen this new picture that Carl* put up?

Lady on the left:

No.

Lady on the right:

You know . . . the first thing I noticed about his nipples . . . 

Lady on the left:

. . . 

Lady on the right:

. . . was just how big they are. His cat has worms.

Lady on the left:

Ew.

 

Barry Bonds: 

Shakespearean.

Fin.

Again, Recast: 

Hamlet:

Prithee, Horatio, hast thou seen this,

Prince Carl, resplendent?

Horatio:

                                         My Lord, I fear not.

Hamlet:

Noticéd I first of his pectorals,

of those core rounds ruddy reticulate . . .

Horatio:

. . . 

Hamlet:

. . . mayhaps twas how they fought in fear of foe

 to be as pound for pound proportionate?

 Know thee his feline friend hath worms?

Horatio:

                                                                  Eweth. 

Barry Bonds: 

Prithee, my squire (Paul), get on with it. 

Meanwhile, Back at Somewhere Near Pluto or Somewhere Near Somewhere Near Pluto (The Ranch), Relatively Speaking:

Friends, I had lots of ideas that were more specifically related to Carl Sagan and Pale Blue Dot (the photograph, the phenomenon, the book, etc.), but sometimes there is a lady with a butterfly tattoo. Chaos Theorists refer to this as The Butterfly Tattoo Effect. 

Second Unrelated Thing That is Happening Right Now:

Scholars, as I was beginning to back-peddle, trying to right the course of this sinking (space)ship, and trying to scan the above pentameter (I promise, I spend most of my life not scanning pentameter, but it just keeps coming up when I blog about modernity, duh), you sent me a message on Facebook**. More specifically, you are a friend of mine with whom I have been out of touch for a bit of time. Here is our exchange in its entirety: 


M. L.: 

I read your blog. I am conflicted about how I feel about that. Luckily you don't update very much, so I don't have to deal with the cognitive dissonance very often. 

Me: 

I'm confused. You're conflicted about how you feel about my blog or about the fact that you read my blog?

Also, Hi. 


M. L.: 

Conflicted about being someone who reads blogs as I generally frown upon both the writing and reading of blogs.

How have you been? I hear the drum beat of life has spurred you on to newer and better things these days.

And, hi. 


Return to Meanwhile in Space: 

Friends, early sixteenth-century theologian Martin Luther is right. The drum beat of life has spurred me (us) on to newer and better things these days. She also introduces some very interesting discussion topics, though perhaps for another blog. I "generally frown upon both the writing and reading of blogs" also. Talk about your cognitive dissonance! And how! I think the question here (actually there) is whether or not I'm (we're) engaging in the moral or the hedonistic variety of cognitive dissonance. (Dust off your Psych 101 texts, scholars. Or just google it. I won't look. Because it would(n't?) break our heart.)

Where Were We? Ahem: 

Reader, Father Luther, I think I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what I've been thinking, straight from the gut, no fooling around. Do you want to know what I've been thinking? Of course you do. I apologize in advance if this comes across as a "stoner" conversation. I'll do my best, but let's face it: what the stoners may lack in execution (and elocution), they return to us in spades by excelling in subject matter generation.

Everything that's happening has always (caution: term "always" may be relative) been happening. Sit with me in our little pod out near Pluto (or wherever) and look at that pale blue dot with me: Dinosaurs, Barry Bonds, honeybees, Carl Sagan, you, me, Carl Kassel, castles, White Castle, Burger King, Jonathan Rhys Myers, this blog, puppies, hippies, iambic pentameter, hipsters, the Swedes . . .

And that's just the pale blue dot. There's a whole lot of other stuff in that picture. Who are we anyway? Is that my point? Sort of. No, not really. If you want to read more eloquent writing on that point, (erm, well, maybe near or around that point, again I don't really do research before I write these things, and my abstract-reading safety-gloves are at the cleaners) see Carl Sagan (probably). The pale blue dot, as a topic, however, is no red herring. I'll show my hand here: Little me (cute, right?), curled up on a couch with a box of CHEEZ-IT, watching PBS and my friend, Carl Sagan, is blowing my mind. Filling me with wonder, shaping my educational path, and all of those cliché and wonderful things that great people do. Carl Sagan was one of the minds that made me want to know things. Frankly, Carl Sagan was one of those dudes who made me want to know everything. We have two things: a desire to know, and as time progresses, more and more "knowy" tools. Are those two still friends? How big is my brain?

My point is everything that's happening has always been happening; there have always been myriad species eating each other and pooping just around the globe from a German with a silly haircut, ninety-five new ideas, and a bag of nails about to change everything just around the globe from two ladies talking about the unsettling size of a male acquaintance's nipples (maybe he was spearing a fish (maybe the fish was pooping)), and all the while atoms (whether or not they are being photographed and are "your very own") have been moving right along and doing what it is that atoms do.

So what, then, friends, on Earth (and beyond), is this blog about? Why are we picking on public radio? Are we picking on public radio? Actually, we seem to like public radio very much. Public radio, in the grand scheme of things, is adorably simple.

Back to the pod, friends, it's the only way! And push the throttle for me. Okay. Boosters . . . go, and . . . hello, asteroids . . . hello, Borg . . . and hi, Mars . . . we're not even comfortably through the atmosphere of the pale blue dot yet, and lo!

Informations: Satelites, radio waves, space ghosts, etc. Let's land the pod in my (our) office:

The lady with the butterfly tattoo is on facebook looking at pictures of man-beef, and I'm blogging about it on my knowy tool, and one of us is in Malaysia at a colleague's funeral checking our iPhone to see the latest score in the Leeds United match, and one of us is googling "hedonistic cognitive dissonance", and googling is a word, and a panda bear is eating bamboo on a Chinese web cam, (not from a Chinese web cam, thank God, but give it time), and one of us is sending us a facebook message saying, "Hey, friend. It's been a while."

Everything that's happening has always been happening. It's just that now we can check in. Yikes.

Sure, public radio attempts to address everything (and has for quite some time), but are they our most egregious source of informations? No. See: here. Do we elect to turn the radio on while driving? While showering? While working? Yes, we do. Shame on us. And good for us! And how about a blog called "Thank You, Internet"? Well, how about it? And isn't a blog kind of an ironically stupid (stupidly ironic?) place to have this discussion? Yes, of course it is. And isn't that kind of neat? Sure, sure, following . . . oh, wait. Wait, Paul. I just realized something. I think I should, just, now, erm, stop me if this is hurtful or whatever. But I just realized, you know, your brain is only so big.

Friend. Exactly.

*Sometimes, scholars, the universe is a spooky place.

**Sometimes, scholars, the universe is an interrupter.

 To Carl, In Memory