Das Rheingold

 "Got yer nose"

First of all, I feel the need to qualify a certain statement that public radio told me a few days ago. I'll paraphrase it here: At _____ donation level, you may opt to be gifted a copy of Diane Rehm's Life with Maxie; Christmas is just around the corner and this would make a wonderful gift. 

Scholar's, I highly recommend that you click the above link. Take a good hard look (really, it won't take that long) at the cover of that book (covers of books, are in fact important, especially when choosing a Christmas gift, and I really feel the issue needn't be discussed further) and ask yourself some questions (I trust you to generate you own questions).

There are two key phrases in this post's inaugural statement that I'd like to examine. Phrase A: "this would make a wonderful gift." Phrase Ω: "Christmas is just around the corner."


Let's begin with a critical analysis of Phrase Ω.

If a building has four sides, it follows then that it has four corners. A year has four seasons, and if a year is akin to a building and seasons are akin to sides of buildings, it follows then that a year also has four corners, and that, in fact, Christmas is just around the corner.

I'm not Andy Rooney. Not yet. So, scholars, I'll leave you to continue the analysis of phrase Ω on your own (as you grumble yourselves to sleep).

Let's move on to a critical analysis of Phrase A. I mean no disrespect to Diane Rehm, national treasure, and I hope that this in no way hampers my chances of someday securing her, Queen of the Rhein, as my sole patroness, benefactor of the (my(our)) arts.

However.

Please bring the cover of Life with Maxie back to the front of your mind. When I began this blog, I made a promise. We have a covenant, you and us, that I (we) will guide you (us) in slaying some of the more elusive dragons of public radio. Do you see the lady snorgling the wittle doggy in your mind? Here's where I will insert the qualifier I promised early on:

This would make a wonderful gift for a very specific kind of person.

I'll say no more.

Exit first of all.

Enter second of all. 

Second of all, as you may have guessed by first of all, it is pledge season at WAMU. I'll begin with a disclosure of my personal finances (you relentless vultures): I donated $88.50 (also known as the Total Cheapskate and/or Graduate Student Tier). I requested to be gifted the NPR 40th anniversary porcelain mug (because it was suggested by the wielder of the pledge whip that, above and beyond containing coffee, it was also substantial enough to stave off muggers (if the porcelain, thief-killing mug were also embossed with the cover of Life with Maxie, I would have donated upwards of $9,000,000 (keep that in mind for next year, WAMU))). 

This is the first time I have given money to public radio. (Sorry, public radio.) I've been meaning to do this for some years, but every time pledge season rolls around I realize that I'm completely broke. "Perhaps after graduate school," I'll say, as I dip my Bachelor's Degree in ketchup and take a bite. Sometimes I think that I have stayed in school this long for the sole purpose of rationalizing my miserliness during pledge season.

But.

I did it. I was a grad student and a (financial) benefactor of public radio at the same time. It can be done. And, Christmas is just around the corner (of a four-cornered year). I'd be withholding if I did not admit that this (questionable) blog had at least a little something to do with my decision to finally pony up the cash. I'd also be withholding if I went with my gut and suggested that this was the first time that I'd paid for something that made my brain hurt, however, this may in fact be the first time that there is a complete paper trail.

First of all, everybody go get your free copy of Life with Maxie (Only $88.50). Our first book club meeting will be whenever you see fit.